God, Interest Me

I call upon to Him with that prayer when I’m exhausted, when I’m nonchalant or when I’m naturally me, seeking to excite and ignite my adrenaline. He responds always, as in for all time, He never fails. By response, I mean He shows me the remarkable, the extraordinary, the appealing, the motivating, the noteworthy, the noble, those I never knew exist or still exist, those that make you smile, make you feel alive, those small and big things in life. Occasionally, He even answers my quick prayer by offering desirable and exhilarating outdoor adventures. Those sort of response from Him, I like! However, there are these of which I refer to as unlike times, and today is one of them.

What occurred today interests me, but I’d rather not go through that hazard for another time. With my act made hastily on impulse, I feel guilt-ridden and culpable. Please papa God, not for another time. It involves aggression and onslaught, to some extent a recurrence of the past. I abhor the mixed emotions. :'(